How can the single Muslim guy emulate the traits that will win over the heart of his wife to be? Of course, we’re going to assume his faith is solid, as the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has said in the hadith, “If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil.” (Reported by At-Tirmidhi and others and classified as Hasan).
Let there be no question that these two traits are most important, but what else can help his cause?
1. Humility coupled with confidence
Many think that you must be humble, and indeed that is a very good thing – still, there is a way to also exude confidence. Finding the balance between the two is truly understanding the notion of ‘ihsaan’ –excellence and a sure way to be appealing to women. When said groom proposes, he must be confident that he will win the hand of his intended. He will show he is humble in his mannerisms but sure that he can take excellent care of her and has no issues demonstrating this to her and her wali.
2. Funny is good
Having a sense of humor and the ability to make your intended laugh is a trait that will serve you well throughout your long and prosperous marriages. A woman is enamored instantly when a light-hearted chap asks for her hand in marriage because she knows that he’ll be fun.
3. Kindness that doesn’t dissuade from decisiveness
He buys the mom flowers, he feeds the birds in the park, he helps wash the dishes in the masjid after a potluck Ramadhan iftar. He’s kind, yes. Does this mean that he is weak though? No. Once again it’s about finding that balance between being kind (not code for “doormat”) and still being able to make his own decisions. It is how a man can take the lead in a way that makes those around him feel safe, yet still surrounded by kindness.
As always, the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) himself is the example that best exemplifies how the man should be treating his womenfolk, while still maintaining a sense of focus and determination to do what needs to be done.
Geeks and nerds shouldn’t be hindered by their labels. Having the ability to speak to his potential mate’s doctor father about the functions of the digestive system and at the same time being able to discuss the latest PSP games with her younger brother will win the Muslim suitor some major points. Women want to be able to respect and cherish the men with who they plan to spend their lives with. They don’t want some ignoramus. In the real world, fabulous Muslim women know that intellectual conversation trumps any type of “Prince Charming” fantasy. It’s what keeps things interesting, and gives us something to look forward to when the “Prince Charming” good looks begin to fade!
Originally posted on sistersmagazine.com